Restless Swimming

Swimming

You make it look so easy.
In a raging sea of emotions
But this water is unforgiving.
Relentless pounding by these waves, in this deep dark ocean
Where no rest is to be found.
It's so easy just to let go and it's so easy for you to just say, no
You know you need to be strong
And I am having trouble holding on
And you drag me along for a short time
But it's so easy for you
When all you can do is just leave

You let go

You swim away, oh you find it so easy to swim away
And leave me here shivering from the ice,
Completely surrounded by these great waves.
Tired and alone
Swimming out here in a daze
An ice cold sea, overpowering me
Testing my strength
Making it hard to breathe

You let go and you are far far away

These waves as if emotions were great oceans
You left me to be carried away
Taken away by these waves,
Why couldn't you hold on?
We were both swimming along
And it was just so easy for you
To just be gone.

I can't find you, you left me.

And it's so easy, you make it so easy
To do this on my own.
What other choice do I have?
You've left me all alone.
These emotions, these waves keep coming,
Trying to drown me in my sorrow and weakness
But I know I am strong.
And I will keep swimming on....

Feel like I am whole again.

You make me feel, so warm
whenever I'm alone with you
this feeling you give to me
pumping through me,
like the blood running under my pours
the warmth is coursing through me
you make me feel like I am whole again.

You tell me,
you want me
over and over
and it makes me feel so free.
You say my name,
you want me,
you want me badly.
But you've been bad and you're locked away
and yet you say, you need me.
In your arms
wrapped in chains
I'm here to stay,
you need to hold me tightly.
But you're locked away and you can't hold me.
And still you beg me
please, just stay.

You haven't even had me
and still you want more,
more of me you crave
you want so badly just to taste,
it feels so good
just to imagine you.
Exploring me
with your tongue
just to feel your warmth
you make me feel like I am young,
again, you say my name, you want me badly.

You want me bad
it's oh so bad
and I can't say
just how badly
I want you.

Restless

Rest will not find me, for it is lost among a sea of raging thoughts.
And I, I am swimming
And I, I am searching
With no rest to be found.
The water is ice cold and I am submerged, yet I can still feel my body.
Bitterly cold and alone in my thoughts with only the haunting of memories floating around.
Like the pieces of a shipwreck, my thoughts flow deep, deep within me.
Deep within this cold water I hold my breath and I swim down deep
Into the darkness
Into the past
This water is so cold, but I still feel alive!
Into the darkness the current is strong, and it takes me away.

The waves are crashing, as the water carries me to land.
And I am smashed into the sand, utterly shredded to pieces by the power of these thoughts.
As the water gives me no rest, I catch my breath, and it seems I cannot escape this ocean of restlessness.
I cannot move and I sink into the sand.
These thoughts coming and going, like the waves, this water holds me here.

In this place, I am beaten by the power of these thoughts and some of me is broken off, carried back into the deep.
A constant reminder of the young love,
Lost at sea.

Sweet Love, Sweet Thorn

Sweet love, sweet thorn, when lightly to my heart
I took your thrust, whereby I since am slain,
And lie disheveled in the grass apart,
A sodden thing bedrenched by tears and rain,
While rainy evening drips to misty night,
And misty night to cloudy morning clears,
And clouds disperse across the gathering light,
And birds grow noisy, and the sun appears
Had I bethought me then, sweet love, sweet thorn,
How sharp an anguish even at the best,
When all's requited and the future sworn,
The happy Hour can leave within the breast,
I had not so come running at the call
Of one whoe loves me little, if at all.

by Edna St. Vincent Millay